Ask Ms. Outlier: How Should I NOT Write a Marketing Email?


I recently received a profoundly ill-thought email from a company wanting me to perform a service for them. After calm consideration, I decided to tell them exactly what I thought.

THEIR EMAIL TO ME

Hi,

First off, I came across your site and wanted to say thanks for providing a great resource to the lupus community.

I thought you might find this infographic, which displays the effects of lupus on the body,interesting and helpful for your readers:

Loopy Lupus Lady

Not Their Graphic, But the Single-Most Perfect Illustration of Lupus’s Effects I’ve Ever Seen

Naturally, I’d be delighted if you share this embeddable graphic on [here appeared a link to one of my lupus posts–the ninth] and/or with your followers on social. [sic] Either way, keep up the great work !

All the best,

Ms. Z., Assistant Marketing Manager
Money-Making Medicine, Inc.®

Gwen Doubts

Gwen Has Some Doubt About the Sincerity Level Here

MY EMAIL TO THEM

Dear Ms. Z:

SUMMARY

You want me to link to your for-profit site, but offer me not one penny-per-hit for doing so. No problem.

As long as YOU include on YOUR site a link to my first lupus post:
https://outlierbabe.wordpress.com/2015/04/30/autocidal-1-feels-a-pea/

Ducreaux Booyah

.

DETAILS

Suggestion 1: Reword Future Emails

Exactly on what basis do you, Ms. Z, feel it is appropriate for YOU to thank ME for providing a great resource to “the lupus community” (Do you speak on behalf of that community in some capacity?)? And for you to encourage me to “keep up the great work”?

Let me clarify for you, Ms. Z.:
I am in no way your subordinate. I am at least your equal.

But I, a patient with systemic lupus, will now more appropriately take this moment to thank YOU, Ms. Z., for providing a great resource to the lupus community, of which I am a member, by sharing that graphic.

Double Booyah Baby

You Only THINK This Image is a Non-Sequiter. I Wanted a “Double Booyah”, and This is What Google Returned. This Cutie Must Have Awesome Booyah Power To Overpower Google’s Web Crawler

Might I suggest, Ms. Z., you modify the wording of your solicitation letter in case it offends others you contact, besides me?

Suggestion 2: Read What I’ve Written

My website statistics reveal that you looked only at only the final one of nine lupus posts written: A post which would have been confusing had at least the one prior post not been read.

I suspect you did not read even that one post, Ms. Z.

.

You might try the series sometime. Although yet needing some revision, and with chapters to come, what is posted so far is still excellent.

Blowing Own Horn

I May Not Really Be This Confident, But I Was Gonna Sound Confident to THIS Woman, By Golly

–O. Babe

GLADENDUM

To Ms. Z.’s credit, she sent the following apology, which I felt treated me and my input with respect. As a result, I shall include a link to the graphic on the appropriate page of the series, in whichever century I finally go back and wrap up that series.

Hello O.Babe,

I want to sincerely apologize, it seems my email came off condescending. That certainly was not our intent, and I think your feedback makes a lot of sense upon reading back over our email. I will be sending your feedback along to our team to relook at how we reach out to the community.

My Work Here is Done Cat

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