The Funny Picture That Isn’t

This photo is funny.  Until you realize that it can easily be titled “The Future of Women Everywhere.”  (Muslim birth rate?  Prolific.  Evil madrassahs?  Many.  Absolute power corrupting?  Absolutely.)  That is scary.


(BTW, would love to credit the picture’s original source, but have not yet tracked it down, even with TinEye’s help.)


F*ck You, Women Readers!–Male Writers


Too Much Testosterone In Those Inkwells?

Frankly, men, it is high time you thought about the other half of the population when you write.  You have, and can have, no idea what it feels like to be cruising along, really into a book, only to be slapped across the face and kicked out of it, told, basically, that you weren’t welcome to start with.   I’m damned tired of it.

Pickin’ on poor P.J. O’Rourke only ’cause his was the book on tap the day I snapped. Like many (most?) male authors, P.J. O’Rourke unconsciously assumes that only men read his words.   Why should he consider the issue of men versus women in his audience?  He holds membership in the privileged class.  

I’m betting you male readers in the audience are considering this issue trivial.  Whereas, because I am a member of an oppressed class, I consciously choose my words because I know they are far from trivial:  A few changed pronouns here and there, the use of the occasional alternate noun, and voila!  Gender neutrality. A goal whose time has come. The inclusion of 100% of the population, versus the exclusion of 50% of us.

From PJ O’Rourke,  Don’t Vote, It Just Encourages the Bastards
 
(1) “If it weren’t for business investment, all the inventors, innovators, manufacturers, wholesalers, and retailers who have brought prosperity to the modern world would have had to get their money the way the rest of us do: by asking their wives.”(p. 37)

Frankly, P.J., I can’t think of the last time I’ve asked MY wife for anything. Even when I was married.
 
“F#ck you, woman reader.”
 

What Woman Reader or Wife Can’t Relate Warmly To THIS Image?





(2) “Or, to put it differently, the government is a Rottweiler ready to be unleashed on your problems.  And you’ve stuffed raw meat down the front of your pants.” (p. 67)
 

“Where, Presumably, P.J. Was Imagining Something Like This Could Be Found”


 
“F#ck you, differently-equipped woman reader.”



(3) “Once the Model T was introduced we all became Sir Lancelot, gained a seat at the Round Table, and were privileged to joust for the favors of fair maidens…” (p. 153)

There’s An Image Women Can Relate To. Especially Those Shoulder Pads.


 
“F#ck you, (straight) woman reader.”



(4) “…otherwise we stuff a tampon up Dad, give Mom a tablesaw for Valentine’s day…” (p. 52)

What is THIS Thing I’m Using As If I Know Exactly What I’m Doing?

“F#ck you five times over and sit on you for fun, dumber-than-dirt woman reader.”
 
Such a revealing analogy. Here’s what it means:  “Tools are to women as tampons are to men.”
 
So:  A woman would have as much use for a tool as a man would for a tampon.  To ole’ P.J. (and many other males), women are lower on the evolutionary scale than the tool-using chimpanzees.   Since racists have frequently equated blacks with apes, it appears that Yoko Ono was wrong:  We women are not the the n#ggers of the world.  We are LOWER.
 
Gorsh.  That explains why I’ve been so puzzled by these ten stringy things dangling at the ends of my arms.  Don’t know how I managed to maneuver and affix 10-foot drywall sheets to the ceiling on my own in that 1908 Craftsman–musta used a heckuva lot of makeup or sumpthin’.

Or Maybe I Had Some Girlie Power Help

Were we able to manipulate one digit independently of the other nine, it would be possible to reflect male writers’ sentiments toward women back their way. Since that is, apparently, beyond our feeble womanly ken, let us provide this poor substitute:

(NOTE:  No women’s digits were harmed in the typing of this blog.)



ADDENDUM

To put up drywall sheets on your own, make two Ts from a length of 2×4 almost as tall as your ceiling with a short crosspiece at one end, 4″ (3 1/2″) side out. Then shove and raise up one short end of the drywall toward the ceiling with one T and work up the other end with the other T. Jam the sheet up snug with the Ts to screw it into place. My brother taught me this.

But it’s a pain in the #ss, and I’d never want to do it again.
 

Kipling for Girls: The Other “If”


If you can keep your worth when men about you
Are gaining theirs by lowering that of you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
And give no quarter to their doubting too:

“"I Don't Want Her, You Can Have Her, She's (Gotten) Too Smart For Me!"”

If you can no more wait in silent, fruitless waiting
But, being lied about, throw back the lies,
And, being hated, pay in measure for the hating,
While looking clean and good and acting wise;

If you can dream – their dreams not be your master;
If you can think – their wants not be your aim,
If you can meet with each of their disasters
And on those sad imposters lay the blame:

If you are sick of hearing the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted for slaves to make false traps by fools,
Or watch the women you shared your life with, broken,
And stand tossed out aside, like worn-out tools;

If you are on the heap of all the losers—
You risked it on a piece of human dross
And lost—no start again at your beginnings;
(He gets to start again with a new toss:

He gets a girl-child ready-made and new
To kowtow to him after you are gone),
And so you must hold on with nothing in you
Except the will which says “I’ll carry on!”

If you can act for good but lose your virtue,
But of their virtue men need never care,
If words of foes or loving friends can hurt you
But reputations of men can be bared:

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds of fair treatment’s slaughter,
Then you now know that women ARE the n#ggers,*
And—which is more—you’ll be a Woman, my daughter!

Told It Like It Is

 
* Yoko Ono’s famous quote, Woman is the n#gger of the world was in reference to the underdog status of all women everywhere.
 
The original Rudyard Kipling’s “If”:
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/175772



2013/11/25–added an explanation of Yoko Ono’s famous quote when I learned today that many younger women are unfamiliar with it.
 

Should Conservatives Be ‘Outed’ For Their Abortions?

.

All those male Americans deciding what all we female Americans must have happen to our bodies.

How many of their wives, daughters, and mistresses have had abortions, with their full knowledge and consent–even frantic encouragement, perhaps, in the case of mistresses and daughters?

How many single or divorced women who profess to be anti-abortion have jumped the fence privately when the stick showed pink but still held to the party line publicly?

Wouldn’t you be interested in knowing? I would.

No One Should Get An Abortion Except My Wife

Here’s One We KNOW About

Here’s one who was hiding it:
“When one woman became pregnant, the staunch anti-abortion conservative pressured her into terminating the pregnancy.” (Raw Story)

Absolutely. Just Don't Forget to Defend the Baby and Mother's Future Lives.

And here’s what they’re forcing on the rest of us women–and let’s keep two facts in mind throughout:

1. Every completed pregnancy and delivery risks a woman’s life–Any law which forces a woman to complete a pregnancy forces a woman to risk her life. This isn’t just hyperbole:

“Women who are 15 years old in 2014 face a lifetime risk of dying of 1 in 2,400.” (from a pregnancy-related death)

2. Women using birth control properly still get pregnant and can get pregnant more than once in a lifetime–even many times.

So we are not talking about ONE possible abortion in a woman’s lifetime. And when I describe below the damage done to a woman from pregnancy and child-bearing and child-rearing, you must understand that it is exponential with EVERY completed pregnancy and delivery.

Every wanted child, and every child FORCED upon a woman.

DAMAGE ONE ACCEPTS IF ONE WANTS A CHILD

DAMAGE ONE FORCES UPON A WOMAN IF ONE REFUSES HER AN ABORTION

Painful labor–likely many, many hours of it, the pain of which is for some women is truly the most excruciating one can imagine (far worse than kidney stones–commonly compared–if you ask women who have had stones).
 
Another 18 to 21 years of their lives, while they raise a child to adulthood;
 
Reduced living circumstances through reduced finances

– Reduced finances directly, because of childcare and medical costs, and
– Reduced finances indirectly, because of adverse affects on employment (women with children are paid less by employers–men with children are paid more!).

These factors contribute to the continuing economic marginalization of women. The more unplanned children they are forced to support, the lower down the economic ladder they and their children will live for the rest of their lives.

Hemorrhoids.

Varicose veins, to the point of causing dangerous lack of circulation in the legs and requiring surgery.

Reduced bladder control, to the point of requiring diapers, needing surgery to repair.

With every pregnancy and delivery, a step closer to reduced sexual attractiveness to most males–more dropped and flattened breasts, larger abdomens, increased numbers of fat cells.

More chance of prolapses, rectoceles and fistulas. Life-long horrors if left untreated, but now sometimes left untreated when the woman can’t afford the cost of surgery. (Imagine men putting up with this. I can’t.)

And let’s just bring this last one out into the open–Some women don’t like to talk about this one or admit it:
 
More stretched vaginal canals leading for some women or their partners to less sexual pleasure for the remainder of their lives.
 
(The male dollar-distributing decision-makers were initially fine with public MediCare dollars covering Viagra et. al. to rejuvenate sexual pleasure for older men, but surgeries to restore full sexual function or pleasure for women who have given birth have always been considered “cosmetic”.)  Each of these health or sexual issues is more of a risk with every additional pregnancy and delivery, and every divorced or single woman bears the financial brunt–not the men who decide this for them.
 
Increased risks to health, sexuality, and financial security, with every pregnancy and delivery–not just once.

And let’s just not go into the subject of those bastards who tell women to grow each accidental pregnancy into a baby and then give birth to her and give her away. Those people hate either women or children, or both, if they think a loving God would want a woman to do this. Don’t tell me they’re unaware of what happens to children in our current national shame of a foster system.

I had children, and for me, they were worth the host of ills listed above (and in my case, with autoimmune connective-tissue problems, I needed three surgeries post-childbirth to correct the damage, one of which I had to pay for without insurance). My children were wanted and cherished. But I also had an abortion at my unmarried age of 17, without the knowledge of my abusive parents, and I would do it again in a heartbeat in order to save both the teen I was then and and my not-yet-child from that horrible situation. If the current set of American males who control females get their way, girls and women in similar situations won’t have that choice.

In future, the only American women who will continue to be able to get abortions easily will be the same ones who have always been able to do so:
Rich people who are not morally opposed to abortion, and rich people who publicly claim that they are.

Please Use Contraception Wisely : )

Addendum:
Not really promoting outing the women who force all of this on the rest of us. Just making a point, or trying to.

2014-02 Entirely removed the text related to more than one abortion to refer simply to more than one birth. No one could relate to multiple abortions per woman (sorry, you women to whom this situation applies). Changed the title and opening and closing paragraphs due to the changed focus.
 

Online, We Loves Us Our Wimmins


Manboy: “I would love to be a laser beam operator, I’d turn the boatload of men pirates into women with one quick burst…”

Saw a Youtube vid of a laser demonstration at sea. The above was in the comments below the vid. Just couldn’t let it stand. Responded with:

O.Babe: “Dear Manboy: While I agree with the sentiment behind your comment, it seems time someone educated you that we women are not lesser men, without the dangle-y parts. Getting real tired of that, and of the terms “women” and “girls” being used as synonyms for “gutless”.  Especially when the shoe does not fit, or at least not any better than it does your gender. Plus, as a group, we’d aim those lasers better, dude.”

Perhaps what I should have added to give poor Manboy a harder reality check was “Are men really women with their tits cut off, and half a tit twisted and sewn back on where their normal vagina should have been?” But poor Manboy was probably shocked enough to hear from a female at all, it never having crossed his mind there were any in the audience.

If You Are Online, Odds Are About 7 to 1, You Is

Well, the dialogue was not yet over. Of course, this female had to be corrected:

Manboy: Not sure how you got from what I was trying to say to what you interpreted. Maybe you read a ton more between the lines, but lets assume I was not clear. Sorry about that. ;>) ”

Sorry, Manboy. That won’t fly:

O.Babe: “Upvoted you for apology, but still miss point–no between-line read needed: Men minus dicks = women. Women minus tits = men? Don’t think so, Manboy, and neither do you. Your admittedly cute remark was based on cultural tradition that those emasculated guys would then be women, and therefore, now helpless. Don’t think so, Manboy, but you–the general you–guys–do. Anyhow, no biggie, not worth more ink. Was just tryin’ to remind you that women be in audience, too. Peace.”

Jeez, the male-skewed perspective really hits you when you spend time online.
Oh, here’s the laser demo, in case you’re interested (I was!).

Okay, yeah, should have stopped this post right there, but here’s another:

Was reading an article about Houdini and ran into the third sentence of the first paragraph:

It’s the early 20th century. You want to take in a magic show.
You’ve got your spats on, your mustache is all waxed and ready.

Darling, Have You Seen My Spats?

I had to put in my one cent’s worth again on this one.  Here’s the comment I posted:

Outlier:  Oh gosh, what an eye-poppin’ surprise. Another article with another opening assuming male readers only.  But I forgot my mustache-wax. And this one written by a female. So d*mn tired of it…

Here’s part of the gush of sympathetic response:
RCastro:  Oh gosh, you are hurt! Come everyone and bond…

Outlier:  Am/Was not hurt–far from the point–but this response, assuming so, is not merely lacking in empathy, but demonstrates its opposite with great gusto.  Fire away again (with more blanks) should you wish. 

RCastro:  Keep your glasses on if you want. They let you see what really is important, do they? I am a father to 3 kids. They tend to over-react and see certain things in an exaggerated scale. Sometimes I poke at them and they give a fit, sometimes I poke at them and they laugh.  But I’d like to think it always makes them think.  Peace.

Bet Mr. Poke-bully’s one heck of a fun dad!

“IceTrey” had this to say to me:  I’m sure your mustache would look much better with a little wax.

I responded:  It might at that, cubeless one. And if you could manage to grow one, your looks too, might improve.

Don't Hate the Cubeless--Pity Them

2014/02–never noticed the entire beginning of post had somehow been dropped! D*MN!!! (maybe way back, clumsily migrated it from Blogger??? how embarrassing…).
Also, removed Manboy’s real name–should never have included it to begin with.
2011/13–no text, images–just added excerpt