Ask Ms. Outlier: How Can I Have FUN With My Customer “Service” Experience?


These are the really, truly letters sent to and received from yet another company with an impressively-obtuse customer service representative.
 

WHAT I SENT THEM

Dear WeFindYouForever Fence Co.,

I can’t TELL you how EXCITED and THRILLED I was to start receiving emails from your company, out of nowhere, YEARS after I made what I recall as a couple of scouting queries about a fence for the backyard of my
four-bedroom house in Florida.

I SO look forward, now, to wrapping one of your wonderful fences around the interior space of my current home:

A 700 sq. ft. condo in Southern California with no backyard–or front yard, either!

Pygmy Goats Behind Wrought-Iron Fence

Perhaps I Can Make an Indoor Corral for My Pygmy Goats? (Shown Here in Their Former, Outdoor, Quarters)

I’ll be the talk of Los Angeles!!

Please: Send me all the info you have on every fence style you offer.
And by all means, keep those emails pouring in!

Smooches! ❤

Miss Outlier

P.S. DO tell me you offer snow fences–I'm most 'SPECIALLY interested in those.

Snow Shark Eating Leg

I Don’t Want Any of THESE Getting Into My Kitchen!


 

HOW THEY RESPONDED
 
Dear Ms. Outlier,
 
Good afternoon!
 
Thank you for your interest in our company and products, we really appreciate it! We have an almost unbelievable amount of information and number of fence/gate products available online.
 
I would recommend taking a look at our website (DumberThanAFencePost.com) to see what style you are most interested in, once your search is narrowed we can work toward filling your specific need. Here is a link to our wooden snow fence: (ImNotSnowingYouImReallyThisThick.com).
 
Thanks again, have a great day!
 
Will “Likely” B. Promoted
 

Plato Always Be Kind Quote

Uh-Oh: I Don’t Think This Post Passes Plato :/
(If I Were a Kind Person, I’d Be More Sorry 😛 )


 

ADDENDUM

In the interests of honesty, I did change one line, and slightly disguised the website, company, and employee names so that all the fence companies in all the world–all of which read my blog–can spend a day scrambling to wonder:

“Was this us?”

(More likely, they would spend a day scrambling to locate their snow fencing brochures.)

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BooHoo Customer Care


What’s Scary Is, They Try Their Best

Slightly-edited actual letters exchanged with a certain helpdesk.

To          :   Boohoo! Customer Care
Sent       :  Thu, April 29, 2xxx 10:00 AM
Subject :   Spammification of Self-Sent Mail

 

To back up private documents, I send mail to myself with a Word attachment.  Later, look for it in my Inbox.  Not there.  Find it in my Spam folder.  Why?
 

To          :   Miss Anthrope
Sent       :  Thu, April 29, 2xxx 10:00 AM
Re          :   Spammification of Self-Sent Mail

 
Thank you for contacting Boohoo!®Customer Care.I understand that messages sent to yourself are sometimes placed in the Spam folder. I apologize for any inconvenience caused and am happy to assist you.

We know that SpamSlam®, Boohoo!’s filtering system, isn’t perfect, and sometimes an email that you want in your Inbox winds up in your Spam folder instead. When this happens, please open the email and click “Not Spam.”

By clicking the “Spam” and “Not Spam” buttons you train SpamSlam® to learn what’s spam and what’s not every time you mark an email.  The more you train SpamSlam®, the better it works for you.

I hope this answers your question. If you need any further assistance, please feel free to contact us again.

Thank you again for contacting Boohoo! Customer Care.

Regards,

Agamemnon
 

To          :   Boohoo!® Customer Care
Sent       :  Thu, April 29, 2xxx 10:00 AM
Subject :   Hated by Boohoo

 

Dear Agamemnon,
 

Yikes.  You have got to be kidding.  Do you honestly think that I don’t know enough to flag myself as not-spam?  Each time mail to me has wound up in the Spam folder, I have marked it for the Inbox.  Yet, later, Boohoo again sends subsequent mails to me to my Spam folder.

Please explain why this happens only with mails to ME–not with mails to any of my other Contacts.  Because, right now, the only conclusion I can draw is that you, Boohoo, the company, hate me.  Me in particular.

 

Sincerely frustrated,

 

Miss Anthrope, Singled Out As Hated by Boohoo!

 

To          :   Miss Anthrope
Sent       :  Thu, April 29, 2xxx 2:00 PM
Re          :   Hated

 

Thank you for writing to Boohoo!.

I understand that you would like an answer as to why email sent to you is being received to your Spam folder.  I’m sorry to hear that your email is being received to your Spam folder.  I’m happy to address this for you and I do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.Unfortunately, I do not have the answers that you are looking for.  SpamSlam® is complex and maybe it is confused.  I’d like to reassure you that Boohoo! does not hate you or even dislike you as a user.
 
I’m sorry that I could not be of more assistance to you.  If you have any further concerns, please let me know and have a pleasant day.
 
Thank you again for contacting Boohoo! Customer Care.
 
Regards,
 
Timmy
 


To          :   Boohoo!® Customer Care
Sent       :  Thu, April 29, 2xxx 3:00PM
Subject :   WTF

 

Dear Timmy,
 

This answer is a non-answer and quite ridiculous.  Please bump this issue up the ladder to your technical staff.  The problem is interesting and should receive some attention.  And you should learn to recognize sarcasm.

 

Miss Anthrope

 

arggggh…


 
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