These are the really, truly letters sent to and received from yet another company with an impressively-obtuse customer service representative.
WHAT I SENT THEM
Dear WeFindYouForever Fence Co.,
I can’t TELL you how EXCITED and THRILLED I was to start receiving emails from your company, out of nowhere, YEARS after I made what I recall as a couple of scouting queries about a fence for the backyard of my
four-bedroom house in Florida.
I SO look forward, now, to wrapping one of your wonderful fences around the interior space of my current home:
A 700 sq. ft. condo in Southern California with no backyard–or front yard, either!
I’ll be the talk of Los Angeles!!
Please: Send me all the info you have on every fence style you offer.
And by all means, keep those emails pouring in!
P.S. DO tell me you offer snow fences–I'm most 'SPECIALLY interested in those.
HOW THEY RESPONDED
Dear Ms. Outlier,
Thank you for your interest in our company and products, we really appreciate it! We have an almost unbelievable amount of information and number of fence/gate products available online.
I would recommend taking a look at our website (DumberThanAFencePost.com) to see what style you are most interested in, once your search is narrowed we can work toward filling your specific need. Here is a link to our wooden snow fence: (ImNotSnowingYouImReallyThisThick.com).
Thanks again, have a great day!
Will “Likely” B. Promoted
In the interests of honesty, I did change one line, and slightly disguised the website, company, and employee names so that all the fence companies in all the world–all of which read my blog–can spend a day scrambling to wonder:
“Was this us?”
(More likely, they would spend a day scrambling to locate their snow fencing brochures.)