Dear Dating Site Dude,
It is so refreshing to know that you believe in a “full and equal relationship between a man and woman”.
How lovely that I’d be “encouraged” to have interests of my own. For, without such encouragement from you, I would surely not think on my own to stray from our hearth, and would grow to resent my limited life, and you.
And I especially agree with your comment about domestic duties. I, too, realize that occasionally it would be more “convenient” for me, as well, to “lend a hand with laundry, cooking, and cleaning duties”.
I am curious, though: For all those other times–when it’s not convenient for either one of us–who will perform those duties?
Perhaps We Can Hire Out To the Bred-For-Domestic-Duty Subclass Within the Subclass? (They’s All Happy When They Cleans)
You are looking for a woman comfortable in a domestic role. Stop looking at skinny little things like me. Look for sexy women with more meat on their bones. I suspect odds will be better you’ll find more women who won’t mind cooking you up some fine meals.
Me, I’m finished cooking for a man. I worked full-time (many years of 65+ hours) and cooked and kept house(s) for men from 1977 to 2005. That’s long enough.
It’s MY turn. I’ll clean and do laundry, or most of both, but everyone can do their own d#mned cooking, or take ME out. I’m worth it.
I do wish you the very best of luck with your search.
–O. Babe
The Last Half 
Paul
/ 2015/03/17Arrrr, Matey! Raise the main sails! Raise the jibs! We’ll run ahead o’ the wind as fast as she’ll go!
Whew! That was a close one OB. Wouldn’t a been long and ‘e da had ‘is grappling hooks into yur gunwales and stripped ya of yer treasures grá mo chroí.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/17Whew, yes! That WAS a near ‘un!!
LOL for reals at that, Paul!
😀
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Silver in the Barn
/ 2015/03/17Plenty of Fish, I presume? Oy vey, Babe, the pickin’s are slim out there, I see. And another excellent photo choice. I look that happy before embarking on cleaning toilets and I’m sure you do too.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/17My OCDishness means I often do enjoy cleaning, Barbara, but think men who stand at toilets act like pigs. Simple physics dictate microdrop splashes. YUCK!! Give me a more intelligent and thoughtful–in this respect–Swede or Japanese dude who sits when in a home.
(BTW, some will be grossed out, but logical me takes no issue if a guy uses the sink for his urinal–more height appropriate–as long as he leaves no evidence afterward. Which, if he washes his hands thoroughly, he won’t.)
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Silver in the Barn
/ 2015/03/17As you probably know the Swiss make the Germans seem carefree and light-hearted in terms of their adherence to order. One of my long-ago clients left me weak with laughter regaling me with the stories of how he had to adapt to living there including the rule in an apartment building that men were not allowed to pee standing up after 11 p.m. Now actually I can see why, can’t you? People are trying to sleep, after all. But can you imagine this going over in the US?
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/17Oh, I dunno…I hope that pee-bouncing paint really takes off here like a house afire–or, I suppose, more like a set of hotfeet being put out… I am thinking of getting some for the rear wall of my john.
😉
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Silver in the Barn
/ 2015/03/17Ach du lieber Gott! Leave it to the Germans!! BWAHAHAHA! I’m so proud. OMG, Babe, funniest idea ever to have this in your own personal bathroom!!!
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/17It would be worth the once-only mess-per-male, wouldn’t it?
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Silver in the Barn
/ 2015/03/17So worth it. So, so worth it. I am still laughing, you nut.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/17I’m actually planning–soon–a rant post about this peeing thing. SO many shoulder chips, so little time…
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Silver in the Barn
/ 2015/03/17Well, maybe you can also write about our difficulties….no hooks in the stalls, giant rolls of toilet paper which you can rip off only one tiny square at a time, toilets which flush as you approach, during, and then rarely after. Oh wait, I’m writing a post right here. Sorry! Signing off…..LOL.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/17I’m laughing so hard: You mean, the giant Toilet Snails? The ones that are mounted at floor height? THOSE?!! Arghhhh!! Or the Butt Bidets? Are THOSE what you mean?!
Yes. I can include those. But I think they deserve their own post.
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Silver in the Barn
/ 2015/03/17That’s exactly what I mean. The giant toilet snails! Which make it so easy to pull off the microscopically-thin one square at a time when you have your purse dangling around your neck because the stall hook is gone and the butt bidet is relentlessly flushing an environmentally-approved amount of water over and over and over…..Yes, that.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/17I actually feel sorry for the person who invented those potentially-beneficial p#sscargot. Had they ever been mounted–EVER!–at a height, and in a direction, that allowed reasonable access to their contents, it is possible they might have been viewed as a hygienic boon to womenkind, instead of the bathroom bane of our backsides they now represent.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/17Barbara, let me try again: Thank you! Yes, they certainly are.
😦
You should google “buried in housework.” You’ve never seen so many happy–and young–people! I will say the unhappy guy I spotted WAS cleaning a toilet.
😉
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Unreqwrited
/ 2015/03/17I’m cringing and peeing myself laughing at the same time. Oh Babe, you are a tuna magnet as well as luck magnet. My condolences on the discouraging scourge of displaced encouragement. Have courage. Absolutely rolled out on the floor after p#sscargot. Now I’m wiped. Quick, invest in pee paint and corner the market. Y’urine for a quick return of liquid assets because they won’t take it sitting down.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/17My own stomach is hurting after the squeaky sounds I emitted at “wiped”.
This letter is the least-offensive most innocuous of the bunch. I have been saving them up, fearing to post any, thinking they would dissuade potential applicants for the honor of my company. Hah! Hah Hah! I say. No fears remain. I’m convinced no decent dog-less men remain. Not where I live.
As I’ve said all along to my pals, what decent man WOULDN’T own a dog? (or, just possibly, those other beasts) Only those too busy to be home to care for one, and, at my age, those too busy tend to be at the two ends of the money spectrum. Those at the 12-hr/day manual labor end aren’t online on dating sites. Those at the highest end aren’t looking for women in their/my age group.
There may be a buncha’ fun letters over the next weeks.
👿
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naptimethoughts
/ 2015/03/18What a clever way to let everyone know what a chauvinistic pig he is even before the first email!!! At least he saved you the bother of having to waste your breath. What a douchebag.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/18Thank you. I have been contacted almost exclusively by douchebags far douchebaggier than he in the five months on the sites. He truly was among the scummy cream that rose to the top. Very discouraging.
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naptimethoughts
/ 2015/03/18All you need is one man that is not a direct descendant of the Douchingtons and you’ll be set. I met my husband on an online dating site, and we’ve been married 10 years now. They are out there… But you do have to wade through that scummy sour cream in order to find one. It’s like panning for gold. Most will be of Douchington ancestry, even if you don’t see it at first, but eventually a little sparkly fleck will sink to the bottom.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/18Thank you for that. And I am happy for you both!
🙂 🙂 🙂
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timinycricket
/ 2015/03/204:23 – 7:02
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/20Oh my. I watched one-quarter of this woman-hating vid, which I deserve some sort of award for doing. I heard this woman blame women’s dating problem’s on men not finding them attractive enough (blamed on women for not BEING attractive enough), and on women not finding men attractive enough even though men are wonderfully attractive). The vid spent some time making it clear that men are justified in their opinions–the term “kankles” was actually used–but women are not.
In support of this latter was cited the stat that OKCupid’s women consider 80% of the Cupid guys below average in looks.
I don’t know what to say. I looked at the Cupid attractiveness rating data and photos of guys, and I was surprised at women’s low ratings of them. I honestly was shocked. Perhaps today’s women ARE that picky and awful.
I hope some academic nerd is following up to learn WHY women under-rated men they actually DID find attractive–which is what I suspect happened. Those guys were too young or androgynous for me now, but when young myself, I would have tapped that. And that, and that. (That, so much.)
My 2 cents? The fact that 99/100 men who write to me have looked only at my picture, 90/100 or better are looking only for a hookup, 80/100 are obese–but clearly not considering women similarly so–and a wow-factor proportion not only have never read a word of my Profile (yes–I have proof), but a bunch have borrowed someone else’s they also haven’t read–
More just-observation: I see a lot more fat, fat men with less fat women than the other way around. Men who have no problem tossing around sexist terms about women– like “kankles”.
The vid blamed economically successful women of being too successful, and demanding, and women at the other end of being too grasping.
I should have watched the remaining 3/4. I’m sure the other side of the argument would have been presented, to add up to a more balanced view that didn’t place all blame for women’s problem’s with men on women.
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timinycricket
/ 2015/03/20I think the speaker of the video was referencing another post she had read which used the “kankles” blurb in it… which, by the way, is a terrible term.. not complimentary at all, and I wouldn’t use the term myself or even point that one out of a person. So just saying, don’t attach the using of the word “kankle” or the thought behind that to me. (Karen is more fair than the person she’s referencing, as well.)
And as an overall, this video isn’t female hate… it’s just not agreeing with man hate.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/20I knew she was quoting, and I disagree with you. I think this woman has a serious case of woman-hate. But I agree she’s more fair than that dude, who has now been banned from doing his presentations some places.
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timinycricket
/ 2015/03/20Ok, well I guess we disagree, and that’s ok. I am my own person and I don’t need to try to defend a woman I don’t even know and have never met. (Karen)
I love women, and I want the best for all of us. I’m sorry for any of the ways that you’ve been slighted and experienced injustice. That’s no bueno. But again, there I go apologizing for something I didn’t have a hand in… (typical white male guilt, am I right?)
Thanks for the responses!
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/20Yeah. No apologies for the behavior of others, unless they’re your kids–and even then, only if they’re still under 25 or so. I feel no gender or cultural guilt–that is bullsh#t. Awareness, I should have–that’s just part of being a socially-responsible member of a society–but if I’m ignorant of something, or someone else is ignorant, then I am the ignorant one to hold it against them.
Not that I don’t often forget, and do just that.
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timinycricket
/ 2015/03/20Even so… I feel compelled to distance myself from the radical or extreme, who say and do all kinds of things which undermine the kernel of truth that they may have started with.
But switching the subject… men and women trying to navigate the social dating scene in order to find a partner… I don’t envy those struggles. Who teaches us how to navigate these waters? Even functional childhood experiences may leave us unequipped and unprepared for how to best respect and love ourselves (let alone another human being!).
In conclusion, I guess I just wince every time I hear about these awkward attempts of connecting and the resulting annoyance/anger – fueled post in response to the unnamed offender who cannot defend themselves. You’re basically just wanting the reassurance that your feelings are valid and that you were right in your choices… not that those are bad desires… and.. hell.. it’s your blog, you can do with it as you please.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/20Thanks for the comments! I gotta work now, though. Laters.
🙂
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/20But I’m glad you wouldn’t use the term.
🙂
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Yemie
/ 2015/03/18Oh Lordie, this dude’s really unbelievable! No kidding?! Oh wow! LOL
‘Full and equal realtionship?! What’s that?! Well, If anything Babe, he was honest and you know you aint walking into a blind spot, with eyes wide open! Plus, I wish him all the best in his search, he’ll most definitely need it! Jeez! LMAO!
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/18Yemi, I suspect he will have many, many women willing to date him. I know of a remarkably ineligible male–penniless, alcoholic, living in someone else’s home–who has had girlfriend after girlfriend–with HIM ending each relationship.
I suppose women feel desperate–for company, for sex–and, when a man DOES have $, for help with that, since our economy is so tough. This guy I wrote about was attractive and articulate, and did not seem unkind–just blind to how sexist he is. He should have great dating success.
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Yemie
/ 2015/03/18Wow! That’s pretty sad and its true what you said ’bout us women…. Always, ALWAYS at the receiving end! Psst!
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/18There have been some short, friendly exchanges with guys who have told me that the women on these sites are equally bad, and some bloggers who’ve married men on found on the sites say their husbands said the same. So… What does that say about people? Don’t want to think about that. Or maybe dating just brings out the worst in everyone?
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Yemie
/ 2015/03/18This is all just pretty skewed! A lotta unserious folks out there! Maybe to these lots, it all a joke and they’re only looking for a good time, nothing particularly serious, cause it sure as heck looks like that to me! LOL
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/18Now THERE you’ve probably nailed it.
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M-R
/ 2015/03/18I say, Babe – was that real ? Surely not ! If it was, the bloke should be sent a letter-bomb by email; and we can only hope that no-one EVER responds to the bastard.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/18Margaret-Rose, it was definitely real, and the BEST of a bad lot, except for:
(1) The five men I have met in five months on these sites;
(2) A few others (we agreed not to meet);
(3) A couple of dog and cat owners with whom I exchanged notes for a while because they were fun and interesting–but obviously, not dating material for this Allergy Babe.
As I said to an earlier commenter–Stephanie, I think–I have been hesitating to post this stuff, not wanting to discourage potential dates who might fear their own approaches may turn to public blog-fodder. But I give up. Online dating has conquered me and turned me into the bitter woman I refuse to remain. How do I release bitterness? By blogging about it!
🙂
More (carefully anonymized) letter excerpts will, eventually, be forthcoming!
😀
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M-R
/ 2015/03/18It’s all pretty harmless – I mean, for them.
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longchaps2
/ 2015/03/19Ah, you let him go? But don’t you want to try and ‘fix’ him? I think he has SO much promise. I mean he was willing to compromise wasn’t he? He would let you leave the house, he was willing to consider giving you a small break from cooking and laundry. He’s a gem. Come ON woman you’re letting a real winner escape! Lol.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/19Refreshing perspective, Susan! Perhaps I should at least give him the mattress test.
Heck: Perhaps I should give ALL of them the mattress test. Since there has been nothing else to recommend the lot (with rare exceptions), perhaps I should reduce my criteria to criteriON, doan worry, and be happy when I find the one.
Or two or three.
😉
(And to think I have turned down everyone younger than 50. What a dummy!)
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longchaps2
/ 2015/03/20Lol. There’s the spirit! Why stop at three 😉
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Eda
/ 2015/03/24Sometimes I am bored to death with my long, long marriage, but I would dread facing the dating market again. Ugh.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/24I guess at this point, I should admit that I am no longer facing it. It appears that men approaching my age consider that I have aged out of it, or, after reading the blog, am too bold/outspoken–weird–disease-ridden–poor–smart–or: revealing of dating site info! That last alone is what my friend Joey blames. He says that even though the anonymity is obviously preserved, no one will date me who reads the dating posts, fearing ridicule. He may have a point. I removed the blog link from my dating profile, but the pool of single smart men who aren’t total bungholes is small, and if that was the prob, I have already cursed myself.
Too bad I won’t consider young men, several of whom have pressed repeatedly for time with me. Considering Fang, I have perhaps been foolish there, as well. I’ve even turned down guys a mere 12 years younger. Silly me. And that guy…HOT!!
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Eda
/ 2015/03/24You’re right about bungholes maybe even more so here than some other places. I look at my mate and then look around and figure I could have done a LOT worse.
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Eda
/ 2015/03/24Sorry–who is Fang?
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/03/24No, Eda, I’M sorry–you mean you don’t read and memorize every precious pearl I’ve ever written!?
Re: Your marriage, it is sad that is has become tedious. I’m sure a lot of that is unavoidable, but there has to be something to inject fun: water pistols at midnight, going to a snooty antique store wearing homemade Groucho mustaches, doing a weekly volunteer project together…involving young people…I dunno…SOMEthing.
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