I have to urinate.
We are supposed to use the bathroom at 10:00 AM recess, and at 12:00 lunch. Unfortunately, even after post-childbirth surgery, I occasionally need to use the bathroom at other times, likely triggered by my Behcet’s disease, likely triggered by teaching in that environment).
The approved procedure for peeing outside of recommended times, as it was explained to me in my training, is to open the connecting door to the next classroom and ask the teacher there to take official responsibility for monitoring your class while you are away.
We have no connecting door. The Office has stuck me and my thirteen Special Education students in a large storage closet instead of a classroom.
However, even better than a teacher in the next room, I have an almost full-time assistant. My assistant is well-experienced and highly respected by me and by the administration—this is her sixth year helping such students. I ask Rose to watch the class while I run to the restroom.
I race down the outside corridor on my urgent mission. Before I reach my goal, the Assistant Principal appears from around a corner. She positively pounces:
“WHAT are you doing out of your classroom?!”.
“I have to use the bathroom.”
(child of abuse, here, being faced by a screamer).
“WHO’S watching your students ?!” she blares.
“R-R-Rose,” I nervously stutter.
Her eyebrows can’t possibly go any higher.
“What were you THINKING!?
Only a certified teacher can watch your students!”
Then, she glares at me and spits out:
“Go back to your classroom IMMEDIATELY!”
“But…but…I really have to use the bathroom,” I manage to speak up.
Like She Couldn’t TELL
Only then does she very begrudgingly allow me to pee, after sternly warning me that I must do it fast and hurry back.
Is THIS what my teaching year is to be like?
Is THIS how The Administration will treat me?
Is this how The District treats all its teachers?
ABUSED ASPIE ADDENDUM
It is very sad to me, on a personal level, looking back at this now:
That the woman who was once a confident white-collar professional, running projects, and meetings with Senior V.P.s, designing systems, travelling all over, managing people (only adequately, that last)–
Immediately reverted to the whipped, beaten, cowed puppy she was each time she was put into a new situation and faced with bullying. My abusive marriage negated any gains I’d made after my abusive childhood–with my Aspie social skills always willing to pitch in and hogtie a hand.
And this reaction is still my first instinct today. That is both sad, and infuriating. Makes me want to go out a kick a cat.
(THIS is why my friend Joey says I’m Satan. I was tempted–really and truly tempted–to leave the post like that, and hit Update, just to see what happened.)
I am KIDDING, y’all!
I would only give a kitty One Hard Look–really.
Dratted faustian felines and their sly little furry-footed ways…
‘Nuff Said.
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The Last Half 
Paul
/ 2015/01/30Please may I go to the bathroom? I’m afraid to leave your blog post for fear of drawing censure. 🙂
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/01/30Ha ha ha!! Yes, Paul–I’d hate for you to have an accident over here : )
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markbialczak
/ 2015/01/30You really should have peed on her shoes, Babe. That would have taught her. What a power-tripper.
Sorry to hear how she and so many other things in this teaching gig are triggers for you. Oy. Not healthy.
In better news, I called up your home page here on my iPad, and it loaded as quickly as any other. No barking!!
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/01/30Happy news indeed–thank you, Mark! 🙂
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M-R
/ 2015/01/30You had me worried there, for a moment, OB …
I detest bullies: I think I don’t detest any people in the world as much as I detest bullies. So this post raises my ire more than somewhat.
I shall now go and cool down.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/01/30Sorry to have upset you, Margaret-Rose. I have seen from the reaction of you and others that my post, due to my (usual) self-focus, missed its point altogether: That teachers, who wish to be recognized as “professionals”, as if they are white-collar business people, worthy of the same respect as bankers, lawyers, doctors, or “even” middle managers–and let us add, males of these–
Instead, teachers are often instead treated like peons, with total disrespect, by their own management. This woman was not a bad person–she is actually a sweetheart in many ways. She was terrified of what would happen inside that class of dangerously impulse-driven or emotionally-disturbed children, and she was used to thinking of teachers as resources rather than highly-respected, valued employees when not talking to them–us– comfortably outside the classroom.
I mean–would you talk to a male middle manager like this?
The teaching “profession” uniquely devalues those largely responsible for development of our most precious natural resource.
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M-R
/ 2015/01/31Honestly, I’m not sure how to respond … other than to say I’m not upset, that is …
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/01/31Dear Margaret-Rose: I cannot comment on YOUR blog’s posts–just that blog–via my Iphone. Extremely irksome. (No, I’m not irked at YOU.)
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M-R
/ 2015/01/31No you can’t. Have I not put your beak on the white line prior to now, OB ? – go read Rich’s comment at the head of my post called “OK, Houston, we’ve had a problem here” …
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/01/31I’ve just painfully with phone returned there and see nuffink pertinent. Just the prior bit about getting comments in email, which I does. I will look wiv tablet in morn when awake. Nighty-night, Margaret-Rose. Don’t let those nasty Aussie spidies bite.
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kirizar
/ 2015/01/30I taught in the public schools for about a nano-second (2 years) and I think there should be hazard pay for kidney damage. I wouldn’t drink any liquids before work because of the lack of restroom time. You have my sympathy–and kudos for working with the ‘specials’. Not everyone can handle that population. (I know I was ill-equipped the two times I substitute taught.) Giving birth to a special needs child was just the universe’s way of trying to prove me I was wrong.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/01/31You may wish to hold your kudos, Kiri: I taught only 5 years myself–although in a neighborhood at that time which I say was the equivalent of fifteen years teaching elsewhere. And I did not stick the Special Ed room–but I did wind up the next two years getting rooms of 30 so-called “regular” kids into which the other teachers and principal pre-arranged–against district rules–to dump all the mainstreamed special needs kids and the lowest-scoring other kids–“Because she cares about them and knows how to teach them” was the excuse.
So instead of 13 kids, with an almost full-day assistant, now 30, with a 2-hour a day assistant.
Good times! : )
You know, this really should go into a post…think it may.
Regarding the universe:
A very close friend from childhood, while a teen, did her first volunteer work at our state hospital, working with a deeply autistic boy who had never spoken. She got him to speak.
Years later? Her own child?
What do you think…
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topazo
/ 2015/01/31Hilarious the way you wrote this.
Not so funny, the event that happened! Are teachers now slaves? To be locked up like zoo animals? And to have to take permission to go take a leak!
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/01/31Hey, Topazo! Thanks for that! Time I stopped by your place, too : )
Yes. Teachers are often treated like chattel, or, more often, children. Then, after years of that, some begin acting like such. Crazy-making.
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Silver in the Barn
/ 2015/01/31You could have brought a little urinal (you know, the kind pilots use) into class. Or marched the children into the restroom with you. Or worn Depends. I’m surprised you weren’t able to think of these perfectly sensible solutions. What kind of a resource are you, Babe?
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/01/31Ha ha ha! ! Re: that urinal, just you wait for a later post, Barbara. And on the Depends. As for that bathroom, we had a one-person bathroom, with waits among teachers, during our short recess breaks. Outrageous. But plenty of budget dollars to throw out the latest-and-greatest Math or Reading program and try a new one every couple of years. Fools.
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Unreqwrited
/ 2015/01/31This peece about pee-ons was written with a great sense of urgency. Babe, you are amazing to have lasted 5 years in such inhuman servitude. Kudos for trying to make a difference while you could, although it would seem resistance was futile.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/01/31The teachers who last longer than five years are truly amazing. I did not: I became permanently-disabled (with no disability income from the district, state, or Feds–but that’s a different post). But while I rejected an earlier commenter’s kudos, given under their impression that all my time had been spent teaching special needs children, I have decided since that I do deserve all the kudos I am thrown. I accept yours, with thanks, and I retroactively accept those tossed earlier. During my time teaching, I really did pour my all into trying to help my students, My classroom did have a good share of special needs students all five years, but even had it not, trying to teach…no. I’ll stop here and leave it for the future posts.
Thank you again, Stephanie.
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Unreqwrited
/ 2015/02/01Yes you should accept the kudos, 5 years is still a significant chunk of time and if you were struggling with health issues that’s almost martyrdom. Well at least you must have had the patience of saint.
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Rae
/ 2015/02/01Jobs I’m afraid of:
1. Driving a bus
2. Driving a taxi
3. Being a teacher
Mainly because the lack of bathroom accessibility. Not that I have to go that often but… you know how it goes, you don’t need something until you don’t have it.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/02/01Exactly. Paved paradise and free bathroom access.
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Mommy Catharsis
/ 2015/02/01That’s insanity your administrator called you out like that. I’m a teacher too and I often leave to pee and jokingly tell a student they’re in charge (granted, they’re high schoolers, though maybe that’s no better). When I was pregnant and teaching, I literally had to go every class period.
Oh, I loved the cat comment, and I happen to have two cats. Brutal, emotion-driven humor is my fave! 🙂
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/02/01It IS insanity. If you see my response to M-R (Margaret-Rose), you’ll see that, in brief, I believe the A.P. was terrified. She was fully aware that she had several inappropriately-assigned E.D. (emotionally-disturbed), rather than L.D. (learning-disabled) students, and ANYTHING could happen in that room. But she was a product of the system that treats its employees not like professionals, but like children.
As for the kitty comment, glad you enjoyed it. I confess I have begun to weaken toward SOME kitties, darn it…
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Aquileana
/ 2015/02/01Really Babe? … I just can’t believe it?… So you just had to hold one (until when?) … It is a quite funny story but on a more serious side it looks quite abusive… Well one day she will have to pee soon and wouldn’t be able to cause she will be in a bus or public train!… It would happen, trust me!.
All the very best to you! Aquileana 😀
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/02/02Hi, Aquileana!
Yes, funny AND abusive, you’ve nailed it–I enjoyed your reciprocal wishes for her : )
My best back. I see you have a new post, too. I shall have to head there today for some joyful learning!
–O. Babe
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Angie Mc
/ 2015/02/02OMG Babe, don’t get me started on my thoughts about “educators” who are control-freaks in disguise! I can say this because I was a classroom teacher who didn’t quite fit in. I loved the kids and their families and a few gem teachers but for the most part, most teachers and administrators lacked common courtesy and common sense! Hold onto yourself and dang it, pee when you need to pee.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/02/02I’m out of the classroom now, thank goodness. Loved teaching, but everything but teaching made me ill. It is cruel and crazy-making out there unless you’re in an area with parents who parent–and even then, as you note, your administration can sometimes make the job more challenging than it is already.
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Angie Mc
/ 2015/02/02Glad to hear and I couldn’t agree more. The truth can be sad sometimes.
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Cynthia Jobin
/ 2015/02/14Oh yes, And the loo is far away…..and your lunch break is from ten thirty to ten forty-five….in those days I was a smoker, too; a whole ‘nother problem…very professional-feeling job, eh? Too true to be good.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2015/02/14I bet 10,000,000 to 1 that 9,999,999 of 10,000,000 male teachers p#ss in the sink in their classrooms at recess and lunch, and thus it is an ENTIRELY different game for THEM. This alone makes the job outrageous for women.
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