I Like Good Skunk and I Cannot Lie

Ah, for the funk,
Of the odorous skunk,
Willowing ‘cross the land,

While you pinch your nose,
And rush windows to close,
I waft it near with my hand.

Pepe Le Pew Smells Terrific

Mes Oui! Il Est L’Odeur For Me!

If you suffer from asthma,
It’s a helpful miasma;
When a child, I had asthma, and so:

While skunk smell may be strong,
To adore it’s not wrong:

Woman Holding Nose
Do not scorn me for stinking solo.
 

I was very kindly nominated for a Liebster Award by A.D. Martin some time back. (Thank you most kindly 🙂 .)   At last, I am answering the questions that accompanied the award:
 

1. What are your favorite smells?

You mean, beSIDES skunk?
Gasoline, fallen leaves, dirt, either dry or damp.
Cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and allspice.

Scents from flowers: Roses, lilacs, iris, and carnation.
Scents from bottles: Freesia and jasmine.

Jasmine Flower

Perfumes on other women: Rose, and Chanel No. 5.
Perfumes on me: Calvin Klein’s Obsession.

Places on men: Necks with or without very light aftershave.
Underarms, with or without deodorant (but not after a long workday or workout, please).
 

2. What is your favorite sound?

“I think you’re the most creative, funny, interesting, talented, and beautiful woman I’ve ever met or could hope to meet in this lifetime.”

Bonus if said by a man whom I find funny, interesting, intelligent, and physically appealing on some level.

But, since I’ve never heard anything like that, said by anyone like that, I choose birdsong:


 

Runner-up? Fallen leaves:


 

3. What is your favorite fruit?

Raspberries, as long as they’re atop crème brulee.

Creme Brulee With Raspberries

Naturally Gluten-Free!

Strawberries, pineapple, watermelon, apples. The latter with or without peanut butter or cheese.
 

4. Do you have a green thumb?

Definitely. As long as what I plant is:

(1) a weed;
(2) a zucchini;
(3) an air plant.

I love flowers, so when I had a yard, I always stuck to easy southern Cal. stuff like agapanthus, hyacinth, and potato vine.

Agapanthus

Agapanthus (Lily of the Nile)


 

5. What is your favorite genre to read?

I don’t have a favorite genre, but do have a favorite content and style: I am thrilled with wit—especially wordplay or rapid-paced dialogue—and when I can also learn something, or am made to think, it’s a double-wow. So the genre may be anything: science/speculative fiction (David Brin, Neal Stephenson), or travelogue (Bill Bryson), or history (Sarah Vowell), or mystery/thriller (Josh Bazell, Matt Ruff)…
 

6. Any specific rules that you follow to the letter?

Yes. My one rule for life is, apparently, this: Follow the path of most resistance.
 

7. What is your hometown?

Chicago. Chi-Town. The Windy City. Can’t find my way around it without a map, though. We left when I was five. Chicago has the best-planned art museum ever. Fantastic place. All pieces well-lit and displayed.

Current hometown? Mystery, AK.
 

8. Are you drinking enough water each day?

I believe so, in that there is visual and auditory evidence of locational transference (click pic for more):

Pitcher of Water Being Poured

9. Favorite social media platform?

I am not a participant in any, other than WordPress. I was really into Vine for a while, though, marked favorites and occasionally commented, and was quite surprised to see that although I had never posted a single Vine, I’d somehow gained a handful of Followers there!

10. Why have you chosen to blog?

Initially, I did not see blogging as a way to communicate with anyone but myself–a way to document and clarify my thoughts. I liked the short format it enforced (I began on Blogger.) Now, I’m grateful for the warm hearts and stimulating minds of the people I’ve met through WordPress.

I’m frustrated at your talented prolific posts. (I read only around 150 wpm, on paper. Onscreen, I suspect it’s half that. Many fonts, backgrounds, and layouts bother me.)

Passing the Torch

I’m now supposed to nominate several bloggers with few followers. How would one know, unless a blog’s Follower count appears on its homepage? Perhaps that’s the giveaway: If it ISN’T listed, probably not many? (THIS blog doesn’t list it 😉 ).

So, I’ve chosen instead to highlight:
ONE (1) the blogger who let me know I’d been nominated, and
TWO (2) the brand-newest blogger on my block.

(1) A Soul is a Resilient Thing

I learned I’d been nominated via the wonderful Rebecca over at this site. Here is a sample of how she draws you in with her thoughtful examination of a seemingly simple idea:

(From http://asoulisaresilientthing.wordpress.com/2014/08/23/time-bomb/):
Time must be allowed to move organically. We cannot rush time. We have to encourage it to run its course and allow it the chance to collect information, memories, along the way. It is like walking a dog. There are people who pull their dog the entire way. Never pausing when it does. Never allowing it to sniff around. You see them. Yanking on the chain while the poor pup is mid-pee. Too busy fiddling with some device. Head down. They have no idea what is even taking place. Those are people who do not properly understand why a dog must be walked. It isn’t merely for the physical benefit. The most important part of that walk, apart from bonding time and socialization (or perhaps the need to expel), is the sniff. It is a mental workout for the dog.

(2) Straight From the Heart

And now, (drumroll, please) in-tro-ducing: YEMIE!! She JUST wrote her first post, and, as you will see, her personality leaps off the page, embraces you warmly like you’ve been friends forever, and then pulls you up and and makes you join her party dance! Here’s an excerpt from one of Yemie’s replies to an early Follower, giving a taste of the life in this girl:

“Whoa! Guess who’s come soo early to breakfast?! If it isn’t the delightful, most adorable one! Knock me over and out with a broomstick! *rolling my eyes* LMAO!”
 

Check out Yemie’s first post, and I bet you’ll be hooked.

 

ADD-SCENT-UMS:
 

HOW TO KILL SKUNK SMELL
(NOT WITH VINEGAR OR TOMATO JUICE)

Prepare to be surprised: The reason you think vinegar or tomato juice works is because your nose’s smellers are getting overloaded from the powerful skunk stink, and they just poop out and stop working! YOU can’t smell the stink any more, but if another person drives up to your house and walks in: WHOA!! So the site below will give you some ways to make the smell REALLY go away.

http://users.humboldt.edu/wfwood/deodorize.shtml

HOW TO GET RID OF WILD SKUNKS

http://users.humboldt.edu/wfwood/livingwskunks.html

baby skunks in basket

But Who Would Want To Get Rid of US?


 

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21 Comments

  1. We’ve only had one close encounter with Pepe LePew here courtesy of Westie Max and you are absolutely right. We had nose fatigue from the stench and thought it had abated but nobody else did! Egad, what a horror. I so enjoy your writing. Funny, smart, and, best of all, original. And did I mention funny?

    Like

    Reply
    • Oh! Poor puppy! (I call all dogs puppy–they like it–even the proudest.)

      How terrible for him! I hadn’t known about the fatigue thing until this post and now feel mortified: In college, I’d proudly calmed a panicked roommate who’d been sprayed by bathing her in tomato juice, then sent her unknowingly out into public again next day. Oops.

      Like

      Reply
    • Anonymous

       /  2014/11/08

      Good grief!! Just noticed I never thanked you for the compliments–Thank you very much!

      Like

      Reply
  2. Yippie! Since you’re here O.B, am guessing Christmas came early like I predicted and the lucky number seven DID come through for you then ei?! See?! Was I right on the money or what?! So welcome back’s in order now yeah?! laughing

    I totally love this post! Its sooo hilarious! Plus, I took that bait hook, line and sinker and clicked on the water jug and glass cup pix and guess what I discovered?! Eeewww! That smarts O.B, sheer brill! LOL

    Its such a damper that those two adorable looking skunks can be that cute and stink just as bad! That’s so twisted and well; I’d get rid of ’em! Can’t stand foul smells, no matter how cute the source of the stench! My bad?! laughing

    And finally, you REALLY did nominate MOI for a liebster award! puzzled Jeez, who does this?! I’d be soooo damned! This is so unexpected and I feel so honoured right now am bursting several moves amidst doing a near-perfect split! Hopefully I don’t break something! LMAO!

    Thank you soo much babycakes, you just made ma whole weekend! Will get right to ‘tackling’ those teasers; make the best of ’em and just have me some ‘mega’ fun while am at it! Mwaah! LOL

    Like

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    • Uh oh! No…I’m so sorry, Yemie: I didn’t nominate you for that award, but would be happy to, if you want it. I will have to find out HOW!! I don’t believe in awards that place obligations–especially chain-letter or pyramid-scheme ones.

      I simply nominated you for being an outstanding blogger. Who on earth has such a bang-up post out the gate? YOU!

      My 7th tablet arrived last night at 5:30 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Big oops! So, amma pull the sly Fox’s card on you now! I’ll have it no other way! After several attempts at trying to reach and pluck a real juicy apple on a tree for hours on end with no luck, he walks away, crestfallen and reassures himself that he’ll wager the apple was sour anyhow! In like manner, I say; who needs a liebster when the King of Queens of funny thinks you outstanding?! Certainly not me, don’t even look this way at me! laughing

        Thanks O.B, its all good really! I’m mighty honoured!

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    • Here’s a link I found about the award. You may now “officially” consider yourself nominated–hah!! I’m breakin’ da rules, Jules, ‘cuz surely no one is supposed to name a brand-new blogger!

      So, you think about all those long-time bloggers out there who crave awards and have never been named, and if you aren’t beset by guilt…hah hah!! NOW what are you gonna do?

      http://wordingwell.com/the-liebster-award-the-official-rules-my-first-blog-award-and-a-few-personal-secrets-revealed/

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Paul

     /  2014/11/08

    i’ve had a few pets tangle with skunks and found that tomato juice seemed to work. Apparently when descented, skunks make excellent house pets. My Dad liked to tell a story of his sales manager duties taking him to a local animal park. It was off season and the director parked Dad in his office while he quickly tended to some duties. While Dad waited a skunk wandered into room, jumped up on the desk and curled up in the “IN” mail tray. Dad said he was afraid to move for fear the skunk would object and so he sat stiff as a board until the director returned. The director grumbled, picked up the skunk, sat it on the floor and scolded: “I told you to stay off my desk. Now shoo.” The skunk appeared to be unperturbed by this and wandered back out of the room. The director explained that the skunk had been brought in injured and in the process of operating they decided to descent it because it would never be able to be returned to the wild. It had been some years since that and the skunk had grown to be the facility mascot. They are apparently very clean and mild mannered and even playful.

    Cool Post OB – and I love the pic of the baby skunks – it wouldn’t be possible to get any cuter than that.

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    Reply
    • Thanks, Paul! My 2nd grade teacher had a pet skunk : )

      BTW, I, too, thought tomato juice worked. Check out my response to Barbara, the first commenter, of Silver In the Barn, and also what the addendum link has to say. Surprise!

      Like

      Reply
    • But want to add: Loved your story 🙂 ! You always have an interesting (and pertinent) anecdote to tell, and tell them so well!

      Like

      Reply
  4. RR

     /  2014/11/09

    Thank you most kindly for the highlight. You made this stone-faced gal blush! Any accolades coming your way OB are deserved. It is such a treat to read anything you post.

    Hopefully your technology gets itself together for you. Do let us know how it goes. ☺

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    Reply
    • Anonymous

       /  2014/11/09

      You always praise me, and think me kind. I want to agree, but the reality of my flesh-and-blood self doesn’t measure up to this sanitized, crafted, and edited virtual one. There’s a future post in there, I think. (Can you tell I’m feeling ashamed of some recent real-world un-stellar behavior?)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • RR

         /  2014/11/10

        Well you should agree. What I say is true! Too much emphasis is put on our flesh-and-blood selves. So much so, that we discredit our offerings of any other nature. Embrace yourself (virtual and fleshy) for it is what makes you, well, YOU. 🙂

        Like

        Reply
        • How indulgent to agree;
          Even I can then praise me!
          For compared to Saint O.B.,
          Some days I’m more S.O.B.!

          But I love your perspective, and, since it partly lets me off the hook, I’ll go for it!
          😊

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          • RR

             /  2014/11/10

            Lol. It is not about letting anyone off the hook. Ha ha. If anyone was ever really on said hook to begin with…
            Life lived fully means just that. FULL. Full of love, full of fear, full of joy, full of doubt. Full of truth. Things are not always pretty, sometimes they are pretty awful. Sometimes they just are. And that mixed bag is the (secret) best part. In my most humble opinion, I believe some people just get that. Like you. 😉

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
    • Anonymous

       /  2014/11/10

      And yes, it’s me, O.B. Stupid phone interface!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Skunks are so adorable. They’re a huge issue on the grounds of the psych ward (shocker) and I once almost stepped on one while cutting through a field to go workout at 4AM, but when they’re just huddled up against window that you’re looking out of, they look perfectly suitable for cuddling.

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    Reply
    • You owe me a sister coke : )

      I, too, saw a baby one as I was cutting across a field in the wee a.m!

      Well, it was actually a wide median strip–I was cutting across a freeway (Palisades Parkway) sneaking out to spend another night with my then-boyfriend.

      It (skunk, not BF) trotted up to me in a friendly way and I bent over to pet it, thinking it was a kitten. My hand had just brushed its eartips when a cloud shifted and the moonlight revealed…ACK!!

      Had we the film, we’d see my eyes bulge out like a popper doll’s.

      Backing away slowly: “Nice skunk. Sweeet skunk. Staay….” (as if woodland creature all come trained)

      So, you say skunks gather at your office window, Aussa? Tell me, can other people see them, or is it just you? Does this have anything to do with that “awful smell” YOU claim you detected in one wing of your building?

      (BTW-private-P.S. u knew that goat pun comment was me, huh? forgot was on friggin’ FB, not WP, dang it)

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Haha yes! I knew it was you, I can look up IP addresses when it doesn’t come through properly 🙂 And nooo it’s not my office window (thank God) but the windows on the wards. Well, maybe that’s worse. Ha.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  6. regarding #4……I HAVE killed an Air Plant…….just sayin’

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • No WONder you wander: Domestic destruction drove you to drive! ; )

      I enbrace my fellow flora-no-more-a’ assassin. 😉

      Like

      Reply

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