Like Y’Know Tales: Medusa


So, like, Medusa was, like, you know, a GORGON, which is a witch (get it?) with snaky hair (like my mother in the morning—UG-LEE!). You shoulda seen her! Well, no, maybe you shouldn’t-a, cuz’ if you did, you’d turn to STONE! No kidding!
 

Classic Harryhausen

Perseus, this Greek guy, was looking for something and sailed to the island Medusa lived on with her sisters, and MAN, he was SMART! He stayed up all night polishing his shield, and then fought her by looking in it at her reflection. (Good thing she wasn’t a gorg-VAMPIRE.)
 

A Reflection–My Neck is Safe…

He whacked off her head, kept a few of the snakes as souvenirs, and gave the head to Athena, the goddess of wisdom. Then, which just shows, like, how wise Athena was… NOT—she stuck the head on the front of her breastplate—like, GROSS!!
 

You Turn to Stone!

No, You Turn to Stone!


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
(Yeah, that’s her shield, not her BREAST plate–I guess the artist guy was shy.)

Oh, yeah, and Medusa didn’t use to be so ugly—she started out real fine, but then she was partying one night in one of Athena’s temples, and the party got a little rowdy and the place got a little trashed, and then—WHAM!! Ole’ Athena gave her a really bad hair day—for the rest of her life. Her dad, Porphys, a kind of sea god, tried to change old Athena’s mind, but it didn’t help when he started giggling and said, “B-b-but Athena, Medusa didn’t do it on Porphys!“—GET IT???
 

Beluga Spitting At Boy Gif

Shame On You For Laughing At That Poor Kid (That’s Not My Giggling You Hear…)

Oh, yeah, and the end of the story is pretty pathetic, ‘cause when old Perseus got REALLY old, he used to go up to the little kids and take those old dried up snakes out of his pants pockets and tell them what a great hero he used to be, and all the kids started calling him “old snake-thighs”, and “a real asp”, and then they’d run away screaming “Here comes GORGZILLA!”.

Really sad. Oh, but when they buried him, he got a cool tombstone with Medusa’s head on it (Athena was tired of it by then–it was pretty skanky), and that cemetery is in really good shape, money-wise, ‘cause whenever anybody orders a new tombstone, and pays their drachmas, the cemetery people just carve it out of wood, or soap, or whatever, and then flash it past old Perseus’s grave, and ZAP! One tomb-STONE, comin’ up!
 

Hey—It’s a Job.


 
How Did Perseus “Really” Die?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071031232539AAbEykj
 
I just felt like writing like a kid again. It was fun.
Advertisements
Leave a comment

4 Comments

  1. Hello there Outlier Babe.
    I much enjoyed your post… Particularly the excerpts regarding Medusa and Perseus…
    It seems that Medusa looks pretty much alike the Erinyes as she also had the face of an ugly woman with snakes instead of hair…
    The scariest thing was the fact that anyone who looked into her eyes was immediately turned to stone. So better watch out! 😛
    At least Perseus made it through in the name of Mankind and killed her!…
    Thanks Zeus he did…
    A great reading and I like your approach here!. Thanks for sharing!
    All the best to you in 2015~.
    Aquileana 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Best comment wins prize! (sorry, i tell naughty lie...)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: