What’s Scary Is, They Try Their Best
Slightly-edited actual letters exchanged with a certain helpdesk.
To : Boohoo! Customer Care
Sent : Thu, April 29, 2xxx 10:00 AM
Subject : Spammification of Self-Sent Mail
To back up private documents, I send mail to myself with a Word attachment. Later, look for it in my Inbox. Not there. Find it in my Spam folder. Why?
To : Miss Anthrope
Sent : Thu, April 29, 2xxx 10:00 AM
Re : Spammification of Self-Sent Mail
Thank you for contacting Boohoo!®Customer Care.I understand that messages sent to yourself are sometimes placed in the Spam folder. I apologize for any inconvenience caused and am happy to assist you.
We know that SpamSlam®, Boohoo!’s filtering system, isn’t perfect, and sometimes an email that you want in your Inbox winds up in your Spam folder instead. When this happens, please open the email and click “Not Spam.”
By clicking the “Spam” and “Not Spam” buttons you train SpamSlam® to learn what’s spam and what’s not every time you mark an email. The more you train SpamSlam®, the better it works for you.
I hope this answers your question. If you need any further assistance, please feel free to contact us again.
Thank you again for contacting Boohoo! Customer Care.
Regards,
Agamemnon
To : Boohoo!® Customer Care
Sent : Thu, April 29, 2xxx 10:00 AM
Subject : Hated by Boohoo
Dear Agamemnon,
Yikes. You have got to be kidding. Do you honestly think that I don’t know enough to flag myself as not-spam? Each time mail to me has wound up in the Spam folder, I have marked it for the Inbox. Yet, later, Boohoo again sends subsequent mails to me to my Spam folder.
Please explain why this happens only with mails to ME–not with mails to any of my other Contacts. Because, right now, the only conclusion I can draw is that you, Boohoo, the company, hate me. Me in particular.
Sincerely frustrated,
Miss Anthrope, Singled Out As Hated by Boohoo!
To : Miss Anthrope
Sent : Thu, April 29, 2xxx 2:00 PM
Re : Hated
Thank you for writing to Boohoo!.
I understand that you would like an answer as to why email sent to you is being received to your Spam folder. I’m sorry to hear that your email is being received to your Spam folder. I’m happy to address this for you and I do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.Unfortunately, I do not have the answers that you are looking for. SpamSlam® is complex and maybe it is confused. I’d like to reassure you that Boohoo! does not hate you or even dislike you as a user.
I’m sorry that I could not be of more assistance to you. If you have any further concerns, please let me know and have a pleasant day.
Thank you again for contacting Boohoo! Customer Care.
Regards,
Timmy
To : Boohoo!® Customer Care
Sent : Thu, April 29, 2xxx 3:00PM
Subject : WTF
Dear Timmy,
This answer is a non-answer and quite ridiculous. Please bump this issue up the ladder to your technical staff. The problem is interesting and should receive some attention. And you should learn to recognize sarcasm.
Miss Anthrope
arggggh…
The Last Half 
Steve (lib vol)
/ 2012/03/20First of all, thank you for this blog. As if I don’t have enough diversions on the internet keeping me from important life duties. Your irreverance is breathtaking and your sense of humor is truly wicked.
Your spam problem: just forget about trying to make sense of anything having to do with computers, give up while you still have a shred of sanity. What do you think killed Steve Jobs? Customer service is actually a diversionary hobby of bored 1%rs who enjoy nothing more than yanking the chains of us 99s.
Thanx,
Steve
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Outlier Babe
/ 2012/08/24Um…Don’t supposed you’d believe it’s still March, would you Steve? Thanks for your kind words way back then (just read ’em tonight). Happily, you’ve been little diverted by my blog since, as no new postings have appeared and none will for some time (life happens, and boy does it). Check out “Makya McBee vs.” in the meantime–Makya posts regularly and is, occasionally breathtaking–tell him Outlier Babe said so, and he’ll owe me big time for begrudgingly admitting it, the talented crumb. Hope to be back up and posting again myself in a couple of months. It’s a shame to keep all this brilliant snarkiness bottled up, eh?
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Steve (lib vol)
/ 2012/08/24Where are you? No tearful goodbyes? Joe Ski told me he got a big wet sloppy from you before you left. Seriously, where are you?
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Outlier Babe
/ 2012/08/24Joe may boast all he likes, but the name of my last pool boy was Carlos. Where I am is back in La-La Land. Good ole’ Los Angeles, the city I couldn’t wait to leave; the city I love to hate, and hate to love; the only city whose residents feel no shame about asking you when first introduced what car you drive and what zip code you live in. After being away three years, the ugliness is more apparent than ever–the streets dirtier than ever–except in the monied west side–the air soupier than ever–again, except in the monied west side, near the ocean–the snoots snootier than ever–esp. on the west side–but jeez, one can’t beat the climate and the million and one things to do. Oh, wait–THOSE are for the monied folk, too! Sorry, Steve, it’s early in the day here, but gotta go find a bar and a beer to cry into. And a pool needing a good cleaning…
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Steve (lib vol)
/ 2012/08/24It’s good when you find your home. I’m still looking.
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Outlier Babe
/ 2014/08/15Steve, I was increasing font size on this post and found this old comment floating out there, sad and lonely. Hope some type of resolution was arrived at on both fronts we discussed back then. It turns out I’m still looking, as well.
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