Living in District 9

Correspondence with a small-minded small-town paper.

Star-Bellied Sneetch Boy

This Boy Seriously Gets The Whole Star-Bellied Concept. Way to Go, Little Dude!


 
FIRST LETTER

Dear Editor,

Your Pleasant Beach Town Paper chooses to refer to my half of our town as if it is not part of Pleasant Beach, but instead a separate and unequal town of West Pleasant. I did not buy a house in a non-existent town called West Pleasant.  As my deed reflects, I bought a house in Pleasant Beach.

Furthermore, since the time I moved to the west side of (non-West) Pleasant Beach, my town paper has often not been distributed in my westside neighborhood.  Why has it not? Are we residents out here on the west side of town, less than three miles from the desirable oceanfront, offensive in some way to the beachfront residents?

Are we not welcome to participate in town events? Are we not welcome at local businesses?

Looking forward to change,

Miss Outlier

***

The editor’s response?

She offered to lower-case the “W” in West, so that my lower-status side of town would now be west Pleasant. The desirable town half would continue to merit the town’s full name.
 
***
 
SECOND LETTER

Dear Editor,

If the half in which I reside is labeled West Pleasant, why is the other half not equivalently labeled East Pleasant? Or, alternately, that the halves of our single town be referred to within your pages as East Pleasant Beach and West Pleasant Beach.

I did poll a total of one (1) other westside Pleasant Beach resident, and found that she, too, feels that if west is called west, east should be called east.

Continuing to Look Forward to Positive Improvement,

Miss Outlier

FINAL EDITOR RESPONSE

The side of town closer to the sea continues to merit the correct and complete name of Pleasant Beach. My side of town has now been rechristened to distinguish us even more clearly from the in-crowd:

Pleasant District 4. I am not making this up.*
* (Except for the “Pleasant” part)

Guess that puts us non-beach-Sneetches in our place, now, don’t it?


 

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2 Comments

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